Of Note (or Not)

• As of tomorrow, I am officially finished with my probationary punishment, in terms of both time and tasks.  I'm relieved.  And pleased.  
• I have been growing depressed - I felt myself withdraw.  Grow anxious.  Get viciously defensive.  Push people away who hadn't been swayed by the initial withdrawal.  I grew increasingly sad and hopeless.
• "Take more pills," Mom advised when I spoke to her this weekend.  I nodded in agreement and upped my dosage, slipping into happy/encouraging mode when talking to Dad.  
• He does the same for me - the happy/encouraging act that can only be sustained for minutes.  
• "Pray," I requested yesterday.  "The only time I feel anything less that miserable is when I'm praying."
• And today - by the grace of God - was better.  Not in that it was less busy or stressful.  But I was less exhausted and despairing.  I felt peaceful.  Settled.  Ready.  
• "Could you pray?" I request now because Dad's been off of chemotherapy for 4 weeks now.  Abdominal swelling.  Leg swelling.  Kidney function.  Excessive Potassium. 
• But he and Mom continue to run errands.  Watch the girls.  Talk to me by phone each day.  I want them to be peaceful and settled and happy.  So very much.
• This weekend, I write the cover letter to apply for a new job.  
• I need to find an old version on this laptop before writing said cover letter - I'm not sure I remember how.
• It's rained!  Chienne hides downstairs.  My weedy lawn grows once again.
• Nobody won American Ninja Warrior.  Did you see it?  Were you as disappointed as I?
• Who's excited about the Olympics?  (Me.  I am.)
• I'm now longer very excited about this post though. 

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